I really enjoyed watching a second submission by you.
Your movies are mostly simple short skits made for a quick laugh.
Your main character is obviously dreading his increasingly old age with each new birthday.
The overall submission did not have a mean spirited punchline like I was expecting.
The punchline of your gag was genuinely surprising.
The element of surprise is an effective tool for comedy.
Keep up the good work.
- Mightydein
I'm usually used to watching cartoons that are around a minute or longer.
This is generally an extremely short cartoon by most internet standards and would qualify as a comedy skit.
The black and white look of the cartoon was an interesting creative decision; However, more shades of white, black, grey or even greyscale would be welcome additions.
I recommend watching some black and white movies, black and white comic books and black and white manga for possible design inspiration.
The overall movie was a bit more colorful than the usual black and white submission; However, the limited color palette can still be played around with.
You can even use backgrounds to convey emotion as well.
You have plenty of room to play around with your colors despite creating a black and white movie.
I like the voice acting within this submission especially the nerdy voice of your main protagonist.
The guy both looks and sounds like a nerd.
His voice is very fitting.
The female voices don't really strike me as all that distinct.
The female characters seem to be interchangeable and the extremely short run time did not leave enough room for learning names, personalities and overall character development.
This movie was only a short skit and was merely intended for a quick laugh.
You selected a very eye catching title for your submission.
The submission title and subject matter has a subtle connection to sex.
The punchline of your submission outright states the connection to sex without any strong words or imagery.
This was a very silly skit and was entertaining for what it is.
- Mightydein
The colorless animation and sad music have been combined to establish a mood.
Film can often convey strong emotions and display artist's own state of mind.
This cartoon is expressing an honest feeling rarely ever expressed in public due to fear of ridicule.
Your character Fay is all alone in a drab colorless world.
The combined effect with no color and music seem to convey a feeling of loneliness.
Your character Fay is not a very popular guy and has a very small social circle.
He seems to be universally despised by his peers and the poor guy wants to be loved.
His cute character design easily makes him a more sympathetic character.
Future movies about Fay should delve deeper into his relationships with his friends, peers and even enemies.
The overall movie had a brutality honest approach to it's intended overall mood.
Something about it seemed to be very personal to you.
I look forward to seeing your new submissions.
- Mightydein
I haven't been keeping up with your work lately and now noticed you have uploaded lots of brand new submissions.
This new submission shows an improvement in your own drawing technique.
The bed room background has a lot of attention to detail.
The bedroom has a bit of clutter on the floor and the wall is covered in posters with details of it's own.
The posters on the wall can be improved by adding bits of tape to hang each poster.
Other props on the wall could be held by nails, tacks or whatever.
What matters is something holds the pictures up.
It's one more subtle extra detail to add to a series of already subtle details.
The girls playing the music have the same usual design of perfectly round heads.
Try to experiment with drawing different styles of jawlines for future characters.
Real people often have a variety of chins, jaws, noses, eyes and general facial features.
It is possible to draw a more stylized version of a real person.
Other cartoons draw stylized versions of people all the time.
I can list off examples from anime, cartoons, deviantart submissions, newgrounds submissions, youtube cartoons and other art forms.
The world of online animation has a surprising level of variety in genres, art styles and other possible entertaining factors.
I'm glad to see you are still creating new stuff and learning more with each new cartoon created.
Despite the evolution of your drawings, backgrounds and even improvement towards music created for this piece.
This submission was basically a simple looping animation.
I'm personally not a fan of overly simple animation loops to be perfectly honest.
I would like to see you create some animated skits, shorts, movies, games or whatever.
I'm very pleased to notice that you are still creating new stuff.
Keep up the good work.
- Mightydein
It's good to hear from you again : )
I'm grateful for your detailed review, but I disagree on many levels...
This is a music video, so the main focus was the music obviously. I was hoping more people would appreciate the piece, even if the animation wasn't tip top. It's something I made in just a few hours to go with the song. The background on the other hand is something I made a while back that took a full day or so to draw. I almost put this in the mature category for some of the stuff hidden in the background, but I figured no one would notice, and apparently no one has, so it's all good.
As for round heads, that's just my style. I don't always use them, but it's just easier because I draw everything with a mouse so more complex shapes can be difficult for me to draw. With circles I can just use a circle tool. Also, I just like the look of round-headed cartoons. And also also, Marleen's (the girl with the top hat) head isn't a circle. It all comes down to personal preference though. Just because something can be drawn differently doesn't mean it should be.
As for loops, there really aren't any aside from parts of the song that loop, and even then the animation is never completely the same. I'll admit, most of the effort went into Esther's animation (girl with the viola) I actually thought her animation was very well done considering that I don't use animation software. To animate something complex like playing a viola was a bit tough, but I'm actually very happy with how it turned out. As for the others, they all play clarinets so there really wasn't as much I could do. Evelyn (the girl on the far right) makes funny faces and stuff though.
Anyways, I do appreciate the review, I do, but I feel that 2 stars is a bit harsh. I felt that even your own words were more favorable than your rating of 2 stars. It sounded like you enjoyed it, even if you had some gripes, but 2 stars would imply that you thought it was very bad. While the animation is simple, it wasn't bad. The background is colorful and full of detail, polished artwork and hidden objects. A lot of effort went into the background. I'm going off topic a bit, but when I put up posters, say in my actual bedroom, I put the tape on the back so it isn't seen, and so the poster itself isn't ripped if ever it should be taken down. Just a little trick I picked up. As for the props on the wall, the only objects are a spoon, which is visibly taped, and a few paper notes, which have colored thumb tacks in them. And finally, the music, which was the main focus, I thought was sorely neglected in your review. I think you may enjoy it more if you give it another shot. Try to focus on Esther. I think she's the funnest one to watch. You really get an idea of her character, her very bored and cynical personality. More importantly though, try to enjoy the music!
Regardless of my disagreements with your review, thank you. Again, I'm happy to hear from you again. I guess you saw that post I made about you. Thanks again for your review! Sorry my response to your review was longer than the review itself. I know you can't respond to the response, but if you do give it another shot, just drop me a message :-)
The audio quality of this cartoon is a bit bad; However, recording can be enhanced based on the quality of microphone, recording program and the acoustics of the room.
Treat your computer area a bit more like it's own mini recording studio.
Do a few more tests with your microphone until you figured out ways to get a more clean and crisp recording.
The voice acting itself was very funny and added an extra element of comedy to the overall movie.
Filthy Frank's voice seemed to be very loud and it added a lot of humor.
The character designs of this movie were basically fat stick figures.
If you can draw in other styles than it would be advisable to experiment with other aspects of your drawing style.
No matter what style of drawing is selected.
Pay close attention to not just expressions of the face but of the body too.
Strong effective poses will create a more polished looking drawing regardless of simplicity of complexity.
Your future movies will be enhanced by taking a bit of extra time into each drawing.
Observe how things look in real life and than draw your own interpretation.
Take more time into people watching.
A little bit of extra time with each drawing will sharpen your drawing skills by a lot.
This movie was very funny and an entertaining watch overall.
I look forward to seeing your more polished works and will be grading them on a higher standard.
Best of luck to all your future submissions.
- Mightydein
I already mentioned that a black and white look could work perfectly for any of your other future cartoons.
It is important to compensate for a lack of color by using different shades of white including grey.
Old black and white movies look a bit more colorful whenever it is compared to your new submission.
You could compensate for a lack of color by using cross hatching, dots, comic book graphics and other technique imaginable.
It is possible to create the illusion of grays using a coloring technique called Grey scale.
I recommend using a different color outline for your characters against your background.
This will work as a simple trick for creating more depth for your characters.
If you can create a 3D like illusion in this manner.
It'll be all the better and create a more polished looking cartoon overall.
I look forward to seeing your new movies.
Keep up the good work.
Another review from a long time fan.
- Mightydein
It appears that you decided to go with a back and white aesthetic for one of your new movies.
This actually hurts your movie a little bit because color not only enhances your work but the audience expects it.
A black and white movie is gonna be held to a higher standard than a cartoon created in color.
It is entirely possible to create a polished cartoon without color but it is important to compensate for a lack of color.
Teach yourself how to use any of the possible techniques for working with extremely limited colors.
Look to Comics, Manga, Old movies, Old tv shows for sources of inspiration.
Lots of media exist in black and white form.
The black and white look can actually work for some of your new movies but you need to teach yourself ways to compensate for a lack of color.
I look forward to your cartoons and keep on trying new things.
Keep up the good work.
-Mightydein
All this cool cat internet drama has generated a ridiculous level of free publicity for an otherwise obscure movie.
A large number of movies released to public will usually fall under the category of obscure.
Only a small number of movies will be lucky enough to avoid obscurity.
The market place for movies is generally not a level playing field since the entertainment industry intentionally does things to keep competition out.
I used to be able to call my local movie theater and could potentially rent a screen for my own movie.
I actually called the movie theaters corporate office and ask them about renting screens for any potential film created by me.
That same theater later changed owners and it is no longer possible for me to rent any screen.
The movie theater under a new owner does not have an easy to find phone number for small companies.
Most theaters and stores in Nova Scotia will stock your movie if it has been rated by the alcohol and gaming authority.
I've also called the alcohol and gaming authority to ask them questions about their movie ratings.
They were surprisingly polite and actually introduced themselves to me by name.
The rater on the phone was very helpful.
I don't have any story's about actually releasing a movie to public in real life but still learned a lot by making phone calls to theater owners and the local ratings agency.
The extra difficulty of reaching the public from all directions can easily be bypassed by offering your movie to the internet.
Coolcat DVD's were sold to members of the public directly from the internet.
Derek Savage managed to avoid the extra difficulty from having to call video stores, theater owners and any local ratings agency.
Derek Savage is very lucky to be able to reach the public and sale some Cool cat DVD's.
The bad reviews have actually taken an otherwise unwatched internet DVD out of obscurity.
Derek Savage should be thanking IHE for all of this free publicity.
Derek Savage would have otherwise need to spend a ridiculous sum of money on advertising to generate a fraction of that publicity.
I would have never even heard of cool cat without IHE's review.
This movie has a nice usage of color and I like shadows applied to the characters.
The overall drawings look excellent especially considering how quickly it was made.
All of this cool cat internet drama is still very much new.
I like the voice acting in this submission and each character has it's own distinct voice.
IHE could have voiced both himself and Cool cat.
IHE does a hilarious impression of Cool cat and only one voice actor would have been needed for this submission.
Normally, I would recommend using only one actor per character for cartoons but since IHE can also do a funny cool cat impression; An exception for the one actor per voice can be made.
This was an overall enjoyable movie and tried my best to offer my own overall point of view.
I look forward to seeing your other cartoons.
- Mightydein
I wasn't expecting to see a remake of kirby in whatever land.
This is actually a neat little surprise since this submission shows your improvement in creating more polished looking drawings.
I personally like the posing of your drawings in the less polished version of kirby in whatever land.
You used much more exaggerated animation poses in the original kirby cartoon.
The drawings in this new submission have more of a solid form but a strong emphasis on posing would have changed this drawings into living entities.
I liked the more lively animation poses used for the original kirby way better.
I like your improvement on the backgrounds for this new version and your usage of sound effects from the kirby video games.
You improved a lot of things from the original whatever land.
A lot of your remakes are not shot by shot copies of the originals.
Perhaps, you can focus this effort onto creating entirely brand new concepts for different flash movies in the future.
The great thing about the animation medium is the world of endless possibility.
You can create entire worlds with your very own hands.
I look forward to seeing more of your future work.
Newgrounds has always had a long history of creating parodies based on celebrities.
This movie about a certain celebrity creates a parody of celebrity.
The jokes about Melissa McCarthy's weight is basically picking on an easy target.
You can also focus on other things to parody such as her abilities or lack there of.
The jokes about her weight are fair game for this parody.
You had some really great ideas about making fun of the cliches in her movies.
Drawing an unflattering caricature based on your target will add a lot of additional potential comedy.
You did draw an unflattering caricature of her body but failed to make fun of facial features.
Take extra time into observing both the actual face and body of your targeted celebrity.
You can easily add a lot of extra viciousness to your unflattering caricature.
The Melissa McCarthy in your movie was not obviously her without the assistance of any of the references within your cartoon.
More time needed to be focused on her personality traits, voice, weight, face and overall abilities or lack there of.
This parody could have easily have a bit more bite to it's overall attack.
The humor of the overall submission was very entertaining and effectively used sound and silly drawings.
The outside background of the movie theater could have used a bit more polish.
Some cars in the parking lot would be a welcomed additional detail.
The actual theater on the outside was missing a marquee, posters and other details.
The glass doors on the movie theater is an effective simple design element but it works.
show a bit of the inside of the theater through that door while also reflecting light and other out door elements.
I've sometimes seen clouds in the reflection of glass.
Certain subtle details added to your picture can easily create a more polished background.
The clouds in the sky used multiple shades of grey and white.
There really is no wrong way to draw the sky because it is constantly changing.
Clouds often move but not always at speeds that can easily be observed without going crazy.
I like the way you worked with the lighting in your background.
The sign on the movie theater can easily be another source of light in your background.
This single shot of establishing a setting in your cartoon could easily have more activity around the door and parking lot.
You can have people walking around, plants moving in the wind, clouds moving, ect.
Do whatever is needed to add more entertainment value into each shot.
The second background is the actual start of the cartoon with the couple inside the theater.
The background is more abstract and doesn't show the details of the movie theater lobby.
If that shot shown the details of the theater lobby than the movie's beginning can have the couple talking as it's establishing shot.
You want to try to make establishing shots as part of the action itself.
I like the third background and how you drawn the movie theater seats.
I really like how the seats are shaded.
I already mentioned details about closer observation on your caricature to create a more vicious attack.
I like the parodies of the Mpaa, Hollywood, Feminism, tumblr and your other subtle targets for satire.
A bit more attention into using research of these targets will give you more fuel for your jokes.
The overall movie was very silly but the parody lacked an extra layer of viciousness.
Make another parody based on Melissa mcCarthy and it will have a lot more bite to it.
Better luck on your submission.
- Mightydein
Wow thanks a lot for the long review, lots of great points that I will practice and utilise for my future work.
I created cartoons for newgrounds since 2003 and collaborated with artists such as livecorpse, Billy Monks and others.
I'm also known as PowerRangerYELLOW on my alt account.
I hope to make more cartoons soon.
Age 40
Internet animator
Canada
Joined on 1/8/02
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